6.27.16 24

On the Difference a Year Makes

Since I graduated college, I’ve made a point to visit New York City once a summer.

This past weekend was the fourth such journey I’ve taken. Whenever I arrive and walk up the steps of Penn Station onto 7th Avenue, I immediately fall right back into the rhythm of the hustle and bustle of the city I once was lucky enough to call home for a summer.

Sometimes I take the subway over to Emma’s apartment, but this past Friday I decided to walk. I had the time, and I wanted to walk past my favorite city spots in solitude—the Flat Iron building, that weird Union Square clock no one seems to understand, my former NYU dorm above a Trader Joes wine shop.

During my walk, I thought about a lot of things. I thought about how the route that once looked so familiar was somewhat foreign as the years have done a number on my memory of the city blocks between 34th and 14th Streets. I thought about what my life might have been like if I made a different choice on where to live. And I thought about how this time last year, I was so anxious, and sad, and confused about a boy I could barely stay present in what was happening right in front of me, whereas now I have peace.

on the difference a year makes

Time really does heal all wounds, but I think sometimes we don’t really notice how healed we are when going about our day-to-day lives.

I know for me, it took venturing back to a place I hadn’t been since I was in the throes of an anxiety-inducing situation to realize I conquered it, moved on, and came out stronger on the other side. Instead of wondering about someone else as I was singing country tunes at 2 am at a dive bar in Alphabet City like I did last year, this year my only wonder was when the songs we picked on the jukebox were finally going to be played.

(2:04 am, Eric Church’s Springsteen, Zac Brown Band’s Toes, Alabama’s Song of the South, and a few Randy Houser songs thrown in for good measure for those of you curious at home.)

on the difference a year makes

But I don’t think I am unique in my dealings with those kinds of anxiety-inducing situations. Loss of love, of friendship, of stability, of clarity, of worth.

There’s no way to get through them but to go through them, and trust me, I know going through them is hard. I’m in the throes of something different, but still equally painful, now.

But as my Amtrak pulled out of New York’s Penn Station Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t help but think about what a difference a year makes.

Leave a Comment

24 Comments

  1. Monica wrote:

    Beautifully written, Katie– very well said on how time changes our perspectives. Love you!

    Published 6.27.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you Mons!

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  2. Kate wrote:

    Well put Katie! It’s great to have perspective and be able to step outside of things and look back on them with a different viewpoint. Time certainly heals all wounds, perhaps not completely but they definitely don’t feel as raw and awful a year later. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a difficult time. But, you have a lot going for you and you seem to be a very mature, centered and compassionate young lady who is going places so stay true to yourself and know that this too shall pass 🙂
    XO
    Taffeta & Tulips

    Published 6.27.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      You are so kind to me Kate! I completely agree – the rawness is real, and they may always be there, but you can manage them more. XO

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  3. This really hits home for so many reasons. I also graduated 4 years ago. Last summer was my first time in NYC and I remember trying to keep it together at 5 guys because of the guy in my life. I remember walking the streets alone back to my hotel with tears building in my eyes. I’m so glad we are both in a happier place this year.

    Published 6.27.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      Aw I am so glad we have overcome! Sending hugs! xo

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  4. Kristyn wrote:

    Love this post Katie!! It’s short, simple but to the point. I know we all can relate. So glad to see you’ve found peace, and had a wonderful weekend in one of my favorite cities as well. Love you!!!

    Kristyn

    Published 6.27.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      You’re the best, Kristyn! XOXO

      Published 6.28.16
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  5. Rachael wrote:

    Really thoughtful and beautiful post. The light in the photos says it all – that even when you can’t see the sun because it’s hidden or because of the place you’re in in your life, you can look for what it illuminates and keep looking up. I hope whatever you’re going through helps you grow, evolve and thrive in your future. xoxo

    Published 6.27.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you! I love that quote about the sun! XO

      Published 6.28.16
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  6. Molly wrote:

    This is lovely

    Published 6.27.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      you da best

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  7. kerona wrote:

    I loved this post and so true time heals all wounds and sometimes we don’t even realize that we are healed.
    Agin lovely post

    Published 6.27.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you so much!

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  8. Jenny wrote:

    Loved this post, Katie. It really is crazy to look back and see where we were a year ago. So happy you have a happier, more positive mindset now 🙂

    xoxo, Jenny

    Published 6.27.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you lady!

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  9. Mimi Rose wrote:

    What a beautifully written post! Time really does heal old wounds and makes you gain a new perspective, glad to know you’ve come out on the other side stronger.

    Published 6.28.16
    Reply
    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you so much!

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  10. Stephanie wrote:

    I really appreciate your honesty and transparency, Katie. I couldn’t relate more. While reading, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” Wishing you all the strength you need!

    Published 6.28.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      Such a true statement! Thank you so much for your kind comment :]

      Published 6.28.16
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  11. So true! With the right people around you – and with time – things can change so drastically! Your photos are gorgeous as well!

    Published 6.28.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      Thank you so much!

      Published 6.28.16
      Reply
  12. Rachel wrote:

    It really is amazing how much difference a year makes. So glad to hear you’ve made it out of the grey, and trips to NYC are always the best! Love that you’ve made it a tradition to go back each year. I try to get back up there as much as possible too!

    Published 7.1.16
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    • Katie wrote:

      you’re the best! xo

      Published 7.8.16
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